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Thread: Jessop Burgers

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    De-Programmer - V -'s Avatar
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    Default Jessop Burgers






    Denis Jessop cruising the South Pacific on a yacht called "No Horizon" paid for by the Lawyer Collective , hits a ferocious storm and is stranded on a desert isle . After several weeks , Denis through boredom , fashions a chessboard and pieces from coconut palms .

    Just as soon as he finishes, a native springs from the bushes and asks Denis what he is doing . Denis , with a haughty look of scorn and derision says " Look boy , this is chess , and you don't like it !" the native responds " Ah yes , i have heard of this game from my elders " , Denis interjects " You fuzzy-wuzzies , you no like chess , too comp-li-ca-ted for you , you go catch fish for me yes ? "



    The native immediately spins on his heels and trudges off to the undergrowth where after several seconds of earnest rummaging , produces what looks awfully like a spear . He approaches a slightly bemused looking Denis and OMG i can see now , IT IS A SPEAR !!

    ....[ CENSORED - DUE TO GRAPHIC NATURE OF CONTENT ].....

    As night fell the native and his family settle down around a raging fire on the moonlit beach , playing with the board and pieces and gorging themselves , on what we will discreetly call here , Jessop Burgers .

    Last edited by - V -; 18-10-12 at 02:06 AM.
    When the Seers obliterate the mainstream programming machinery , the Caissa Warrior will assume their rightful place at the head of popular culture .

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    Senior Member Firegoat7's Avatar
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    That's Gold Jerry, Gold!!



    AC: 20-6-20-> ...I did tell them how chess improves people in many aspects. I had better start buying their paper.



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    Immoderator Iconoclast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by - V - View Post

    Denis Jessop cruising the South Pacific on a yacht called "No Horizon" payed for by the Lawyer Collective hits a ferocious storm and is stranded on a desert isle . After several weeks , Denis through boredom , fashions a chessboard and pieces from coconut palms .

    Just as soon as he finishes, a native springs from the bushes and asks Denis what he is doing . Denis , with a haughty look of scorn and derision says " Look boy , this is chess , and you don't like it !" the native responds " Ah yes , i have heard of this game from my elders " , Denis interjects " You fuzzy-wuzzies , you no like chess , too comp-li-ca-ted for you , you go catch fish for me yes ? "



    The native immediately spins on his heels and trudges off to the undergrowth where after several seconds of earnest rummaging , produces what looks awfully like a spear . He approaches a slightly bemused looking Denis and OMG i can see now , IT IS A SPEAR !!

    ....[ CENSORED - DUE TO GRAPHIC NATURE OF CONTENT ].....

    As night fell the native and his family settle down around a raging fire on the moonlit beach , playing with the board and pieces and gorging themselves , on what we will discreetly call here , Jessop Burgers .
    Post of the year?
    The individual is hopeless without the group.
    The group is hopeless without its individuals.

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    De-Programmer - V -'s Avatar
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    Default Epilogue






    Two days have passed, everyone on the island has eaten a Jessop Burger . Unfortunately the burgers didn't agree with the indigenous people's tummies and many fell ill . In fact it got much worse than that . After 7 days the island's small population were all dead . Also , as some of the Jessop Burgers were canoed across to a couple of nearby islands , they too suffered terrible losses .

    The camera pans down to the beach , running its way along the shimmering sand till it stops to focus on Denis's skull perched upright on a tiny dune with windswept seaweed masquerading as some type of macabre toupee .

    The camera pans again just above the sand-line to the waves that slosh to and fro , creeping inextricably to the chess pieces , that lay strewn upon the shore .



    The camera pans across for the very last time.
    Coming to rest on a strange obelisk partially submerged in the sand .
    As the camera slowly pans upwards .... it becomes jaw-droppingly clear .....a dawning realisation is thrust upon the viewer , .... it is ..... the White King !





    [The final scene eerily reminiscent of the ending to Planet of The Apes]
    Last edited by - V -; 04-12-11 at 03:05 AM.
    When the Seers obliterate the mainstream programming machinery , the Caissa Warrior will assume their rightful place at the head of popular culture .

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    De-Programmer - V -'s Avatar
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    When the Seers obliterate the mainstream programming machinery , the Caissa Warrior will assume their rightful place at the head of popular culture .

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    Senior Member Firegoat7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by - V - View Post
    In fact it got much worse than that . After 7 days the island's small population were all dead .
    You mean to tell me that Jessop burgers delivered some sort of mad cow disease that wiped out whole populations? Didn't the same thing happen on Chesschat?
    AC: 20-6-20-> ...I did tell them how chess improves people in many aspects. I had better start buying their paper.



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    Senior Member antichrist's Avatar
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    I guess they would be as old and tough as the water buffalo they eat in the Philippines after working the fields for 20 years

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    De-Programmer - V -'s Avatar
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    When the Seers obliterate the mainstream programming machinery , the Caissa Warrior will assume their rightful place at the head of popular culture .

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    Senior Member griller's Avatar
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    Apparently they're still serving Jessop Burgers at certain Sigatoka restaurants .
    Not the real ones of course !

    But it gives the locals a kick .

    " Seers are the Whistle-Blowers of Reality " ~ Axiom

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    Senior Member antichrist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Firegoat7 View Post
    You mean to tell me that Jessop burgers delivered some sort of mad cow disease that wiped out whole populations? Didn't the same thing happen on Chesschat?
    I read the other day there is a ??????????????? that is really toxic, it paralysis its prey, scientists are trying to clone its venom as a wonder painkiller

    Do you think KB is doing the same for the board, getting rid of the pains in the bum?

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    Senior Member antichrist's Avatar
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    so how do you feel KB would treat diverse bods such as Bobby Fischer? They treated Lloyd Fell like that and he wrote NSWCA out of his will, that will learn them, so they still do not have a chess centre. It was all right for him to be a bigot you know.

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    De-Programmer - V -'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by antichrist View Post
    so how do you feel KB would treat diverse bods such as Bobby Fischer? They treated Lloyd Fell like that and he wrote NSWCA out of his will, that will learn them, so they still do not have a chess centre. It was all right for him to be a bigot you know.
    Did you know KB washes his hands a couple of hundred times a day ?

    Trying to wash off the blood of Axiom .


    Last edited by - V -; 16-04-14 at 02:56 AM.
    When the Seers obliterate the mainstream programming machinery , the Caissa Warrior will assume their rightful place at the head of popular culture .

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    Junior Member ~ The Raven's Avatar
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    Default Get Away With You

    Denis Jessop's last words on shore were : " Wouldn't it be good to get away get away .. "


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    Senior Member antichrist's Avatar
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    That was harold Holt who said those words OZ first conspiracy

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